The Sunday Currently is a feature I've been wanting to try for quite some time now. This should be fun and a quick way to just blog about what our Sundays are like.

This Sunday, i'm currently...

R E A D I N G I’m still stuck in the early chapters of Proxy by Alex London. I'm progressing so slowly these days because of college and all. Speaking of college, I should probably start reading my filipino textbook too...

W R I T I N G this post, emo tweets, late replies

L I S T E N I N G to the sound of my neighbors singing and talking about God. I live next to a makeshift worship center.

T H I N K I N G about the number of calories in a serving of mcdonalds fries. And vetoing it because screw that- i'm hungry.

S M E L L I N G the homey scent of my pillowcases

W I S H I N G that I could go back and take all the chances I wish I took. Empty regrets are the worst.

H O P I N G for a higher grade in Math111

W E A R I N G high-waisted denim shorts and a red shirt. Taylor Swift style but with no shoes.

L O V I N G that i'm slowly starting to post on the blog again

W A N T I N G an order of Mcdonalds' BFF Twister Fries. Hnggggg.

N E E D I N G someone to talk to

F E E L I N G anxious. worried. depressed.

C L I C K I N G twitter, tumblr, and coding tutorials

It's one of those afternoons when i'm lying around, ignoring all of the things I have to do, and thinking about the sad MMK story that is my life. I've been so depressed lately and since my friends are all busy doing their own things, i've been taking it all in alone. What do you do when you lose a friend you held so dear? It hurts, especially because I know that it was my fault.

I've been trying to dull the pain by reading book after book and diving into my schoolwork but there are still moments like these when the pain of remembering emanates through my core. And so I write. I write, and type, and write, and type.

This isn't really such a great start to my week, but I hope and pray it gets better.

A little thingy I made with photoshop. I guess it's a book cover or something. I don't really know.

Oh, and here's some book 'photography' or whatever that I did recently:

And that is all. Idk I think i'm just bored. So err, bye.

"What are you?"

I am pretentious. I pretend to be tough-skinned , but I am actually afraid. I pretend to be "hipster" and unique, but I am actually a combination of every person that I have come to idolize. I am a frustrated writer and photographer who doesn't believe in her works anymore. I feel like I have something important to say, but I just don't know how to say it. I give up on everything I start. I am a coward.

The photo I submitted sums up all of these. Those were all original essays, poems, and stories from my journal. I just didn't think they were good enough, and in a fit of rage I started tearing out the pages. I held a lighter in my hand, ready to burn them all. But I got scared. I got scared of the possibility of getting burned. I got scared of getting hurt even more. I was a coward. Instead of burning them, I tried to "drown" them towards destruction. I watched eagerly as the papers' pulps split up in different directions and the ink from my words turned the water into a grayish hue. They eventually disappeared, but it took almost an hour. A slow death. 

What am I?

I am a distressed individual full of hypocrisy and cowardice, always choosing the easy and "safe" way out, but still gets hurt in the end. 

What am I?

I'm a hypocrite, a coward, all the things I mentioned above, and all the things I am yet to find out about myself. I'm not really entirely sure of what I am right now. Heck, I have no freakin idea.

I reread all the words and sentences that I have written above, and laugh. I guess I really shouldn't complain. 

Why?

Because i'm sure about one thing. I want to be an artist. No, not the kind with brushes and pencils, but the kind with a pen and a camera. 

Do you know how artists work? 

They live life, they get hurt, they grab their pen and camera, and they bleed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Thanks everyone. Cheers!